My Legs Are Spinning Me Around - 1713 Words

My legs are spinning me around In a pattern I don’t recognize anymore. To a song I no longer remember. The same-old routine feels weird and clumsy. Odd and Unfamiliar. Tiring and Annoying. I had never been sad before. Or at least, not depressed in a way like this. I was extremely sick, and nobody knew why, or how to fix it. To have your hope just ripped into shreds before your very own eyes can tear apart your heartstrings like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Outside, the colors are diluted and the buildings are awry in my eyes. My eyes can’t focus Any longer. I couldn’t stop throwing up. My body physically started retching every time a morsel of food managed to pass through my lips. I just thought it was a ruinous case of the†¦show more content†¦I was so confused as to why I got sick. I didn’t understand it. I kept questioning everything; I Kept myself up at night with anxieties starting to creep in at the edges of my mind. Nothing really scares me anymore. I feel disconnected from the world a lot. My Anxiety used to have a tendency to take over. I would lay awake some nights during middle school, My eyes blinking in the moonlight, Just terrified of all the â€Å"What-ifs?† I am not sure now If I have come to realize That these thoughts are just incredibly irrational and I shouldn’t worry, Or If I’ve just become numb to them. I’m back in school now, however! It’s almost 2016, and I’m a sophmore in High School. I’m older and more mature, and I should have more confidence. But now that I really am at this stage, I’ve never felt more distant and spacey. As we approach winter, I find myself growing more scared each and everyday, just thinking of what happened last winter. I don’t know why sometimes I’m numb to the world and why sometimes I’m overly sensitive, but it doesn’t really make sense. If I think about it, I don’t really make sense all the time. After I faced a close encounter with death, From being sick, I felt myself change. I became a happier person. I became a more positive person. If there is an encouraging piece I can pull from this whole experience, is that I definitely have felt my personality start to change for the